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Sunday, January 30, 2011

mind blockage

i have been 3 weeks sober. as a result, my mind has become increasingly cloudy and i am finding it extremely difficult to express my feelings and thoughts. in a couple days i will be moving to a place where i will not have to be clean, and all of the guilt will go away and maybe some of the anxiety. the issue i am dealing with now is should i stay sober in this new shameless environment and see how long it takes for my head to just wake up again, or break my streak and not have to even worry about it. i am really not sure if this blockade that has come back is something i want to break only in order to entertain myself again or not. i used to be able to look at something and associate many things in regards to its qualities, then continually build a thought train around whatever those qualities might be. now i look at something and visualize next to nothing outside of its face value unless i really concentrated. the thing is that i never had to actually concentrate; the train of thought would just realize itself and stick into my mind like a post-it. i already know that this sobriety isn't going to last much longer than a few hours once i am moved in, but it is going to have to be something i deal with again soon as i will have to find a place of employment at some point. then again i could just stay here in my chair and compose something that has actual meaning to me without having to deal with the slap in the face we humans call adulthood. i definitely wouldn't be able to do that as easily while sober. who knows if i'm even creative enough to do something others will find interesting enough to be good (though i believe 'interesting' and 'good' are foils when it comes to creative outlets, at least when viewed by the public). but i have always thought that trying is frugal, it is just my pessimistic outlook. my thinking is i do need to get rid of this wall in order to not feel boring or be uninteresting. here are some funny pictures i like!

i imagine he is making a sound like yoshi's straining floppy kick sound in yoshi's story. heeeeeh




til next time, space cowboyssss

46 comments:

lefthandedstraw said...

My mind is in the same funk mode right now and has been for the last couple of months... I just can't wrap my head around a lot of things like I used to.

Strong Fronds picture.. lmao.

Sincerely,
http://bulkingjobra.blogspot.com

gekomaster said...

Now this is a real blog!, I know being in a situation like that sucks, but we have to keep going. Oh and the first pic made me laugh, don't know why!

Natural Peanut Butter said...

haha, i like your point about being interesting and being good being foils, although I think many people manage to be both interesting and good. how they do it, I don't know, as I am often neither.

teampl4yer said...

LOL FRONDS!!!

FrenchNuggins said...

I love Fronds. Besides that we all have to deal with the harshness of adulthood. It doesn't have to be all harsh and whatnot though. We get to pay taxes! shit.

wiepa said...

Good post man, i especially love the pics.
wiepa.blogspot.com

Tsipise said...

That's a serious life testimony. Sometimes it's good to have a bad day... You feel so much better when everything is all right.

Miss Dro said...

Sweet Pics bro, that last one made me laugh.. muahaha

Miss Dro Cooking With Cannabis
http://missdro.blogspot.com/

temptation said...

good post.
i like the last picture most

Murray Rothbard said...

The "PUBERTY" image is just pure wtf :D
I like your blog man, keep it up. Followed.

my day in a sentence said...

Alcohol is a social lubricant. Sobriety is not.
Keep that in mind.

IsoGame said...

I hope you stay sober and figure things out for yourself. Awesome pictures!

Hans Krüger said...

Yeah, it makes you think that most of the great artists have been intoxicated quite a lot in their lives, be it Absinth or Marihuana or Cocaine. So I guess a little drink in a while couldn't do much harm. As they say: Reality is for people that can't cope with drugs.

trippinkets said...

good luck man and keep posting.

Copyboy said...

Congrats on sobriety. That Friends thing looks like a bunch of Jay Lenos.

davesmithhayes said...

I haven't been sober for months now. I have a system though, never before 4:20 pm. Never when I have something due. Start using a reward system (finish this assignment, indulge.)

I hope things look up for you regardless.

Nemesis said...

hurray for sobriety....

Banacek said...

I don't envy you and this upcoming situation. Best of luck.

Snickelsox said...

Creativity is often ignored by the public for the same old thing... ala fronds.

Chris said...

Lol hard at Fronds!

Woll Smoth! Goddomot Fronk!

Kicking Rocks said...

rofl at FRONDS

Zoe! said...

I like the pictures. Congrats on being 3 weeks sober, that must be a very big moment for you. Keep it up, better days are ahead :)

Gooner Thoughts said...

nice caption on pics

Justsayin' said...

Good post. Keep up the good work. Pics were funny as hell.

Mark said...

That last picture is brilliant; never even thought about the whole wiki-leaks thing like that!

Jomak412 said...

sobriety.......

Laughing Vault said...

i think i have centipedes too

Marlene said...

Sobriety is a good thing. You should be proud of yourself for achieving it...and I hope you stay there.

Love the pics....hilarious!

God said...

I enjoyed the pics :D

Ian Begley said...

Glad your staying sober :)

The Goph said...

Ha, I love the last pic

http://lunch-timeconversations.blogspot.com/

Hans said...

Lol that cat picture looks fucking EPIC XD

Hans-Mylife345.blogspot.com

Doo said...

My mind is pretty much cloudy too lately.

On the images, love the first one, and the last one is so so true

Con Queso said...

I'd usually say "cheer up" but that's kinda mean as if to say it's that easy. But I do hope you find your way soon and eventually, everyone's been through it at some point.

G said...

Congratz on the sobriety - not easy man.
Loved the wikileaks/facebook comparison...so true!
The thing that bothers me about facebook is there adds are generated around what its users do...but they never see a penny of it!

MArk said...

I thought vagina centipedes were extinguished in the 12th century. So much for American public schools.

Alphalpha said...

ahhh mark, still i don't really mind the whole private info thing.

Nutcracko said...

Good Luck on staying sober! Stick to it!

jake7291 said...

hahah i busted out laughing at the centpedes in my vagina picture

Lycade said...

That whole "centipedes" thing actually came up in an Apples to Apples game with my friends and I. Caused a few of us to squirm in our chairs.

grace said...

my best suggestion is since your sober embrace it like you just cheated death because once your high you miss the days when the sun feels great well that just my thoughts

Jonas said...

lol, are you me? i have the same problems

supporting!

Blunders From 6 Foot 2 said...

lol centipedes.....

blundersfrom6foot2.blogspot.com

FLWLS said...

WTF @ the japanese adolescense cartoon??

GADAFINY said...

great pic

Matty V. said...

Haha, that last Zuckerberg quote is great. FB is far too intrusive.