what should my blog focus be?

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

mardi gras!

going to a celebration tonight, will hopefully have photos for tomorrow! here's some history:

"mardi gras is french for "fat tuesday" (in ethnic english tradition, shrove tuesday), referring to the practice of the last night of eating richer, fatty foods before the ritual fasting of the lenten season, which begins on ash wednesday."

so basically i'll be celebrating in excess even though i won't be taking anything away for lent. woo!

Friday, March 4, 2011

mostly better!

only took two days, a lot of rest and lemon salt water to help get most of it gone. i should go to the doctor if it's not 100% by tomorrow evening, but i'm recovering quicker than i thought anyway so huzzah!

have some crazy tyra!











and some tyra boobs?

Thursday, March 3, 2011

spent a couple days in bed

i hope i'm never as sick as i was/am ever again. it was a combination of a sinus infection, strep and nausea/vomiting. i've been sleeping so that i don't throw up and have it tear up my throat.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

vids- nintendo 3ds released today in glorious nippon

watch this dumbass who doesn't know any japanese play street fighter iv.



the graphics look awesome, but you can't really see the 3d effects through a camera. i'm wondering if i get sfiv will i be able to play with my large hands.

anyway, i'll probably be looking to get one of these. i took a few weeks a while ago to put away around $500 for this, and now i'm definitely doing it since the touch screen ribbon on my ds lite has become severed or loose. if anyone knows how to fix that, tell me thanks. i want to play golden sun ds.

Friday, February 25, 2011

Monday, February 21, 2011

skins, series 5

right, so the first two seasons of skins, starting in 2007, were rather phenomenal in their gritty portrayal of teens with issues (i highly recommend them, it's a far better show than whatever's on mtv). it was a perfect drama with bits of comedy and a few moments of suspended disbelief, but the whole cast remains grounded and the performances are very realistic. i would have compared it to degrassi, but skins is not an after-school program like degrassi (and i hate degrassi).
it deals with issues in a much more mature way. the first three seasons are available for instant watch on netflix. if you can, watch them at ~1.09x speed. the dialog is very natural, but sometimes too slow for me.

since i haven't seen the entirety of skins mtv yet, i'm not going to compare it to the original. the acting on it is indeed horrid, though. whoever plays tony doesn't have near as much charm as nicholas hoult (who's playing beast in x-men: first class, and he was in clash of the titans (didn't see)), which is a large selling point to get interested in the series, mind the sex, drugs and partying. it's a genuinely entertaining show, go watch now.

then after two seasons, the cast changes with minimal ties to the seasons before it. i watched the first couple episodes and really couldn't get through them. the season starts like a 'life at school' show instead of 'life in general.' i wasn't feeling it, so i haven't watched the third or fourth seasons yet (though i hear they get better). a lot of it has to do with the characters being less mature, but maybe that's how they're supposed to start.

now onto season 5. i liked the first two seasons so much that when i read that they were recasting for the new season, i started to watch again. i was pleasantly surprised! the show seemed to sink back to its deep melancholy roots and told us the story of franky, a girl with two dads who looks like la roux. she is very shy and just moved to the area coming from a school where she was bullied, which i commend them for not portraying it in a sappy, preachy way. then there's the rest of the cast, which half we still have to get to know. the series is run in a way that each episode is dedicated to a character, and we see their perspective of how everything is progressing.



there's some of the backstory, now here's the scores:
season 5, episode "franky" - 8.5/10
season 5, episode "rich" - 6/10
season 5, episode "mini" - 7.5/10
season 5, episode "liv" - 9.5/10

skins is on thursdays, so i usually get to watch them by the weekend. i just watched the fourth episode "liv" and thought it was so good that i wanted to write about how much better the writing on the show is doing. i'll be posting my review tomorrow, so look forward to it!

Sunday, February 20, 2011

maybe i'm asexual

i've been thinking lately how weird i think sex is.

being of the homosex nature, i've always been attracted to those same-sex sorts of features and shapes n such. i used to think it was just some vanity thing. in other words, that my idea(s) of an attractive male is something i aspire towards being and therefore i am attracted to it. maybe heterosexual men have a similar mindset, like bodybuilders? i imagine they do it at least to brag or achieve a certain goal. maybe they think one step further from "be the attraction, want the attraction" to "be the attraction, get girls." it's just a foreign concept to me.

now that my theory of attraction is completely muddled, i can go on to have completely foolish ideas on the concept of sex. i have sex, and it feels good, but i don't get the notion that i am enjoying it to the extent i should be enjoying it. i'm pretty sure the only reason i started having sex was because something, like television or my pedophile 5th grade teacher, told me that humans have sex. if i lived in a secluded world of people who never told me anything about sex, i don't think that i would never know of ways to handle those feelings. or maybe i would, i don't remember if i've seen or heard about sexual activity before my 11th birthday.

the visual of bodies thrusting is apparently some inherent thing that people know is a turn on, right? i think it's rather awkward. is it because i've had bad sexual partners in the past? i don't think so, there isn't any variation of thrusting i can think of that is at least a little bit awkward looking. i always think that porn is so strange to look at after i'm, you know, done. why is there a time when i think it's the most pleasing thing in the world? is getting horny some magical thing?

maybe i don't believe in love. you can have fun regular and dirty times with someone that turns you on, but is that all to expect out of love? some of my issues with finding that someone is possibly trust. i don't think i can ever trust somebody enough to really feel like i'm "in love." after a while (several months?) i could maybe see that it is safe. it's just that i know what i'm thinking and you certainly don't, so call me out on how little faith i have. so my pessimism is telling me that if it takes so long to possibly trust someone in a relationship enough to think that i love that person, then that will be really difficult as i tend to be self-destructive in most social situations. my point is that i think i would have to be "in love" with someone to only possibly get the full effect of having sex, and that's a long, bumpy road for someone like me to take.

sometimes i think "why would there be such a genetic flaw found in humans that makes some of them engage in life-long activities that does not help procreate?" yeah, i've heard about some homosexual tendencies found in other species of animals too, but let's focus. maybe an episode of south park helped with this one, the one where they find out that the planet earth is an intergalactic reality television show. i think that aliens could be messing with us. maybe there's a homosexual laser beam that shoots you at birth from galaxies away and just turns your attraction to the other sex off. that would make me feel better than how now i believe that homosexuality is a biological disorder that says "this guy's going to have a difficult time with the procreators." not just a disorder either, more like a deficiency. that's even worse.

tl;dr:
homosexuals are aliens
until i can trust anyone completely, i don't believe in sex, but i will still have it at appropriate times in relationships because others like it
it's possible to have deeply repressed trauma that alters your personality to that of paranoia

Saturday, February 19, 2011

the 17th was my birthday

i've been busy celebrating getting older. 23 is the age when your anticipation for birthdays wanes to its lowest point, and i'm assuming it remains at that same level for birthdays after that. guess we can blame the government for that, unless they start putting high age limits on super porn or t-shirts.

yeah, that's really all i have to post about. the guy friend and i are getting along fine, and i still want to lose 15 pounds.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

valentine's mornings

i woke up yesterday with my valentine's date and we went to boob evan's and it was super packed (which wasn't surprising). they're usually good with speedy service, especially this time since everyone there was in pairs rather than groups. it was a good time scoping out all of the odd couples and making up stories for the really interestingly dressed people. i even opted to take the 2 seconds to put some jeans on, but a lot of them wore pajamas, the slugs. most of them were still blatantly drunk on love and alcohol anyway, so i guess it didn't matter. i recommend going to breakfast places around 8 or 9 on the day after valentine's, especially if it's on the weekend. some really funny things go on.

after breakfast, he asked if i had any plans, and i wondered [hm...sleeping, tv, shower, xbox...], but said nothing more than "i'd like a shower." i went back home for a bit to freshen up and went back over to his place. we played street fighter iv for a good 3 hours while listening to music, and it gave me a very nostalgic kind of feeling, like when you played games with your favorite buddy when you were 12. nowadays it's all online and people rarely see each other. it's not the same when you are actually with someone.

we played some more games, most were wii games that i brought over. i was really glad he was actually focusing on getting tasks done instead of messing around. saw some of the obsessive traits i see in myself in him, and i enjoyed that. it also made it better since we didn't have to talk about our personal lives much. after deciding on hamburger helper (cheeseburger macaroni, come on. it's the best) for dinner, we ended up talking for a long time. i really dislike talking; if i could be on a tella novella and just fall in like with someone by meaningful glances, i would. we ended up liking most of the same things anyway, and not in that usual geeky-enthusiastic way either. i like that he's so casual probably more than the fact that we have so much in common.

so we ended up smoking a.lot. and i guess we eventually fell asleep. i have memo recordings on my phone of weird jibberish and laughing, so i guess it was a good time. we went to boob evan's again in the morning really really hungry and got the same host from the day before. we ate a lot and enjoyed all of it.

Monday, February 14, 2011

diet break for valentine's day + my valentine

today is valentine's day, the day where i get a lot of chocolate and candy in the mail from my mother and i get really excited about it. so today is a break day! chocolate! chocolate! chocolate! ack!!!

i'm super full on sweets right now. i'm supposed to be going out with someone later tonight to a bar, but i think they serve food there too. don't know if it's dinner or what, but this person is pretty attracted to me as i am. suppose some people don't care so much about bodies, even though this person so seems like someone who would would be a bit pickier. i'm not complaining; my mind's put to an ease as far as continuing my hardcore crash diet.

i'm fine with valentine's dates, you can't really help it if people are already conditioned to think that the 14th of february is somehow magically the most romantic day of the year. i was born on the 17th of february, so others usually assume i'm romantic. i have to say, it's been a good way to get whomever i'm with in the sack. it's not my fault that people are stupid.

so, i'm pretty indifferent if we have sex or not. since we just met last saturday, i'd rather not tonight since sex early on in a relationship usually means "let's get this out of the way so that i don't have to see you again," from my perspective. sometimes you're really charged with someone you are pretty attracted to and you'll feel something without any emotional backing to it, but now i'm thinking it's better to take it slower. it will be a good night anyway. i'm just too full of god damn chocolate right now!

Saturday, February 12, 2011

300 followers! and dieting update.

what a journey it's been on blogger. blogging and following and blogging and following. such an adventure! it's paid off, though, as i now have 300 followers after 24 days! huzzah, ya'll. and thank you!

as far as my diet is going, i almost threw up at the grocery store. all of my senses are increased in sensitivity, and the smells of the bakery and meat and some other foul odor i'm guessing was b.o. from other patrons was very overwhelming. but then i just got into the car and was fine. i'm stocked and ready for 2 weeks of no/low carbohydrate dieting, and will be doing an hour of walking and possibly jogging everyday. i realized that i forgot about how much i walked when i went to college (big school), so that was definitely a factor in my weight loss before.

so far today i've had a breakfast wrap with salsa, egg, bacon, low-carb whole wheat tortilla. for dinner i'm having a couple burger patties with cheese and a negligible amount of ketchup.

breakfast
eggs, bacon and low-carb tortillas. i'm pretty sure i have sausage too. cheese sometimes, i really don't need any to enjoy the breakfast wrap.

lunch or dinner
skinless/boneless chicken strips i can bake and put cheese sauce on
ground beef to make burger patties with cheese

beverages
non caffeinated diet 7up and a&w root beer (which i'm hoping i like, i usually get barq's)
diet sierra mist
some raspberry lemonade propel for every other day since it has some sugar in it

desserts/snacks
sugar-free reese's cups
sugar-free jello

i'm hoping i don't get too bored with these foods. i have plenty of different sauces to change flavors without compromising the diet, so i think it should be good.

so here's my status for today:
carbs: 4-6 total for the day (supposed to be under 20).
caffeine: none for 4 days (still have headache)
nicotine: none for 4 days
alcohol: none for 5 days

the scale told me that i lost .6 lbs since yesterday, but i've decided to not weigh myself everyday. the sensible diet should do it's thing well enough that i don't have to. i'm going to weigh myself next tuesday, so right now i started at 195.5 and now weigh 194.9.

hope everyone is having a good weekend! here's some more music i hope you enjoy:


i had this on an old cd in my car and have been listening to it a lot lately.


andy blueman's remix of serenity. i heard this in a mix once and teared up as my arms got all goosepimpley. such a wonderful feeling song. start around 1:55 and keep it going. very progressive, even if you don't like trance all that much.

Friday, February 11, 2011

on a diet. i hate dieting.

i've noticed that i'm noticeably fatter than i was a few months ago. it's most likely from the weeks after christmas of intense working out followed by the "that's good enough" stage, then my metabolism slows down to shit and i start gaining.

so my goal now is to lose 15 pounds in around 2 weeks. the diet i've tried and have been successful at in the past is of the no-carbohydrate variety, which doesn't have very much variety itself. probably one of the more boring diets as i am a huge fan of sugar and grains. my roommate bought 4 boxes of pop tarts yesterday and i am about to slam my head on the desk to keep myself from going down and picking up a nice pack of s'mores. i will most likely go down and pick up a pack to save for after the diet is over as a nice 10-second gobble fest. having one day a week for a break from dieting is good for the sanity and kind of shocks your body back to where it was for just a bit. i probably won't have any pop tarts on my day off.

this morning i had a couple strips of bacon with a few eggs and cheese. it's good, but i miss my empty calories. along with avoiding carbohydrates, i tend to cut down on calories by a lot. i may start walking if i don't lose fast enough.

in the past i did this for two and a half months and lost over 60 pounds. for 3 years i stayed around 175 even with regular eating, then slowly creeped up to 185 and now i'm hovering around 195 (which is too much). i'd like to be 180 by the end of the two weeks, but if you've ever had to diet, you know that it sucks. it's only the will of myself keeping me from breaking it, and i'm hoping that writing about it online will make it a little better.

in addition to losing weight, i'm also banning caffeine, nicotine and alcohol from my diet. around sunday i will either be sleeping all day due to lack of energy or be raging at the littlest things. i'll appreciate it all after the two weeks, but getting started is always the most difficult part (which, this is my second day).

my mom is also pushing for me to buy a foreclosure and fix it up to turn a profit since i'm really slow right now to find a career (though, do we all need careers?). i'm too sleepy to worry about it now. if anyone knows of good, cheap real estate in your area i might be interested. in two weeks.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

lemme tell you bout marty

i've been gone for a while (ahem, manic), but now i'm back in the blogging saddle. yay! so since there was interest about some personal things about me, i want to share with everyone the story of how this 5 foot asian cunt ruined my last year at college.

it started when a couple of girlfriends from work wanted to get an apartment with me, which was fine, you know, since they have bewbs and whatnot. i was already practically living with one of them (the nicer one whom i'm not talking to presently) at the time, so i knew about how they like to talk about feelings and boys and blah blah blah your ear off sort of chatter. it's cool, i'm a good listener. and at that point i was smoking pot everyday so i didn't give a fuck anyway.

so we sign for an apartment at the end of may for september. i decided to stay in the area since i had a job and could work there, and my friend of the threesome had a place i could rent with her and a few others. let's call her shmashmina. so in june i was living with shmashmina and the asian girl, let's call her sharah, went home to maryland after the quarter was over. she wasn't someone i talked to regularly on the phone or anything, we were just cool with each other. so she gets back from maryland and immediately goes out to an animal shelter to get a dog. do i know if she was planning to do this for a while or anything? no. neither did shmashmina. all i know is that we had just signed for a lease to all live together and this bitch goes out and buys a fucking dog. shmashmina and i are more cat people, so we were both like "what the fuck, dogs are not cats." shmashmina was the one who told me that sharah got the thing, and that it was a white maltese. imagine this, except with shades of poop brown speckled on the white fur.



of all the dogs you can get, why would you want a fucking yappy white rat thing? there are small dogs that are actually cute and energetic (corgies, yorkshire terriers...that's kind of it. i hate small dogs). anyway, there was no out for me as i had already paid the deposit and signed to live with this inconsiderate skank and now her ugly dog. in addition, we could no longer get a cat or something cool like a bunny because our place was only big enough for one pet. so i said 'fuck it, can't change anything, just hope to god that she keeps it in a cage, etc.'

so a few weeks later while i was still living with shmashmina, sharah came over with the thing and asked if we could watch it for the weekend while she went to cleveland to fuck someone or whatever. i said no, shmashmina said fine, i said no again. so sharah, having already put the stuff the dog (she named it 'maddie' *gag*) needed for the weekend inside of the house before asking, said "great" and left. now, i gave the thing a chance. i told shmashmina that i would have no part in taking care of it, and she said that she was just going to leave it in the cage for the entire weekend anyway (hah). i let it out of the cage once to see if it could play or anything and it just ran around without purpose and yipped nonstop (aka why i hate small dogs). so i was like "back in the cage you go, you vermin" and it bit me! what the fucking fuck! it was around noon, so to make the stupid fuck stop barking i put a blanket over the cage to emulate night. shmashmina thought it was brilliant because it actually worked. i went to work and came back 8 hours later to the house smelling like 40 hobos had ransacked the place and smeared beer piss and 40oz shits on the walls. i looked at shmashmina, looking rather ragged, and was like "what happen?" she went on to give me details about how she took the dog out before going out to get coffee with a friend for an hour or two and came back to the place smelling like it did. apparently the dog shat twice in that period in its cage and managed to piss and shit outside of the cage (it's a female). so i said to her "fantastic. you know that when the three of us move in together that we're going to be out of the house most of the day for work and class, not to mention that we will probably ignore the dog and not ever take it out even if we're home (truth). we have to tell sharah that this thing is already a problem." she said "i know, i know, i will." now, i was at work when sharah came back from fucking every man in cleveland, so i assumed that shmashmina had discussed the shit with her. turns out she did not say anything about when we're all living together, but did manage to get sharah to find other places for the dog when she decided to go out of town.

fast forward to september. there really isn't a whole lot more to this story since the same thing will happen everyday. i wake up, there's shit on the carpet and a pee stain to match. yell up to sharah "i hate your dog, leave it in its cage overnight you twat." she's usually not home, so i buy post it notes and be slightly passive-aggressive about it. she takes this as a sign that i don't want to talk to her when she reads the note (posted daily) on her door as she usually gets them when i'm not home. eventually i moved on to texting her whenever there's a poop. after a week of notes and poops, she storms into my room one evening and asks who the hell i think i am telling her that she should keep her dog in a cage and not clean up after it and leave passive aggressive shit on her door and yadda yadda yadda. by that point in the day i'm so blazed i think she's just yelling at the wall or something in my room and start laughing in her face, making her even more furious as she stomps away. had i had been of sound mind i would have yelled to her that the dog is not my problem to deal with, but since she's gone all day she should keep it in a place where i don't have to see and smell shit and piss on a daily basis after coming home. she eventually makes up a story that it has "cage anxiety" and can't stay in one for long (possibly because of the blanket? i laugh). she decides to board it up in the kitchen (where we all entered the house, by the way) when she's not there, but it yipped far too much for me to handle. not to mention that i didn't want shit all over the kitchen, where we prepare food like humans do.

tensions are escalated to max as a few months go by. shit everyday. i try a few things to get sharah to change her behavior, but her stubbornness is so whacked out that she ignores it to the point where she starts yelling. one of the things i tried was setting up the dog cage she had in the closet and putting it in the corner of the living room. as each day went by i would pull it out of the corner by a foot or so until it was literally at the foot of the stairs. sharah gets pissed off, yells at me for touching her property and puts the cage away. ugh, what was i to do. it was about to get into biological warfare territory on my end, but not yet. i tried leaving the dog in sharah's room when she wasn't there to keep it from having its way with the carpet in our living room (not her living room), but that was shot down the first day when she found poop in her bed. heaven forbid the dog poops only on her things. i put the dog in her room whenever she wasn't there anyway and dealt with the bitching until she actually started blackmailing me (legitimately). at this point it wasn't about the dog anymore, it was about how psycho sharah was and how i just couldn't deal with her anymore. i would have to do things a bit more...sneakily... to attain any satisfaction out of my horrible living situation.

no, i wasn't going to call animal services to take it away (even though the dog looked like this at that point)

i wasn't even sure what qualified as abuse, and i wasn't going to be the one to abuse it as it was just a stupid dog. i couldn't let it out of the house to run away, first of all because it didn't run away and secondly because she still had too much dirt on me that could have ruined my life more than the dog. what was i to do? simple really, take tiny pieces of poop from the readily available bevy in the living room and slowly cover various things in thin layers. of poop. stuff that she wouldn't be able to see, but she would be able to smell. i started with her doorknob, which was already brown, and the insides of her pillowcases. i moved on to do the inside of her drawers, lampshade, around the door frame, drawer handles... pretty much anywhere she touched regularly or couldn't see at all. i never knew if she actually noticed that her room or hands smelled regularly of fecal matter, but the fact that i was able to do it without her knowing was enough for me.

so, where was shmashmina during all of this? she was the neutral party, which she could be because she had a girlfriend to occupy her time instead of listening to sharah and i bicker. she didn't want her friendship with either me or sharah to deteriorate, so she just became avoidant. she would complain to me about the mess and smell constantly, but she also took the thing out whenever asked at 4am when sharah was out having orgies or whatever. the slut. eventually after i was moved out in july (did not want to make it to august), i told shmashmina about the poop i spread all around sharah's room. she thought it was funny, but really disgusting. she was actually pretty horrified as it turns out because she told sharah soon after that conversation. i got a few angry calls and whatnot, but since i had left my whole life in the city behind she really couldn't use anything against me. was the happy ending worth the $250 deposit i lost on the place? maybe, since she had to clean all of her stuff excessively. is the story over? nope!

right before i moved out our refrigerator was getting rather nasty. asian girls are pigs. anyway, i decided that since shmashmina and i were moving out early july and sharah was staying until the end of the lease (end of august), that it would be kind of fun to mess things up a bit for her. i knew we weren't getting our deposits back by the end of the first month living there, so i thought of some things i could do that wouldn't incur any additional fees or something sharah would have to labor over to clean up. after my stuff was moved out (important, i was scared she would physically wreck all of my shit), i put a few maggots in some really old leftover food in the fridge to let them multiply, wrote "hate you, bitch" on the wall with poop (was it the dog's? she'll never know) and threw the remaining on her door. yes, it was all immature, but it gave me so so much satisfaction. in the voicemail she left me the next day, she only complained about the shit. that's cool, all she could do at that point is complain and yell, and all i had to do was press 'delete.' nothing about the refrigerator though...until a week and half later. i've never heard anyone scream like that; she became hoarse mid-message. it was divine.

and fyi, shmashmina, her girlfriend and i called the dog 'marty' because it pissed off sharah.

the end!

Friday, February 4, 2011

too many things to write about

i'm not sure if i should start doing separate blogs for different categories of posts, but so far my posts have been rather haphazard in topic. so far i've done music reviews, a short story, television reviews, funny photo posts, diary posts, things that annoy me in the world and a news post. as a follower, what would you like to see come out of this blog?

in all honesty, i thought this would be a great medium to promote music that i made, but i haven't been working on anything lately with my new equipment. expect to see that in the future after i move, regardless of what i decide to specify this url space to.

so i'm going to leave it up to a poll, something short and quick. it will give me a good idea on what to focus on, as all i want to do is please you. have you noticed yet that i've used commas in every sentence so far? yeah, what's that about?

new topics i could talk about this week: a more in-depth look at the roommate and her white rat dog that ruined my whole senior year at university, how awesome i think the uk series skins is, how unbelievably funny 30 rock, community and archer were last night, predictions for the super bowl, my plans to move (which are already happening as soon as someone hires me in the city), information about life you can take to heart, how i'm on the fence about blue valentine (it was just okay, imo), teaching my followers some nihongo, more obscure music that brings me joy, or funny videos in general (betting this will be most popular). video games are also an option, but there are a lot of those already.

poll is up top, don't forget to comment and follow!

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

no longer moving

thank you, mother nature. your gigantic ice storm prevented me from having to move twice in two days.

the story is that i have a friend whom i attended university with excitedly willing to kick out her ex-girlfriend in order to give me a room to live in at her apartment. it was the three of them living in the 2 bedroom place, with my friend and her girlfriend living in the same room for the first month before they split up. three months went by, and when i went to visit her at the apartment in november for my monthly rounds we started to discuss my moving in to replace her ex-girlfriend. it was great, i thought. she wouldn't be emotionally distraught by seeing her everyday and would move into the living room, which is bigger than the bedroom and has a balcony, and i would be able to move in and she and her current roommate wouldn't have to have a $200 increase in rent every month.

the plans were set by the beginning of january, and i would be moving in on the first of february. since her exgirlfriend didn't move out because of the ice storm, i decided that the first was not the best day to move in my stuff as i would have had limited space to put it. i decided it was fine, even though i had spent plenty of time packing and fantasizing about how the whole move would take place (i'm rather obsessive in a way where i have to follow through with plans, else something in my head will snap and i'll end up rather disappointed). the plan was to just deduct money from a deposit i was giving the girl moving out for each day she still lived there. i couldn't move on the second either because the ice storm only got worse, and that was fine as i had means of compensating myself for the days i didn't live there.

all day today my phone was off, so when i got home around 10 i plugged it in to find that i had 5 messages from my friend, with a long apologetic wall of text that explained that (tl;dr) the landlord did not want to have 3 tenants at the apartment. i didn't rage. for some reason i was expecting this to not work out in my favor based on how undependable my friend has been in the 3 years i've known her. i mean, the reason why we were such good friends in the first place is because we are both rather selfish and destructive. the only difference was that i was emotionally selfish (kept to myself) and physically destructive, while she was physically selfish and both emotionally and physically destructive. our interests were completely different, but that didn't matter since we were so similar in our core values.

so now i do not know what the situation is down there; whether her ex-girlfriend actually moved out or not or if she decided that she inevitably did not want to share her already limited space with someone else. she could be telling the truth about the landlord, but she isn't above lying to save face. i doubt she's lying since she lost most of her friends after breaking up with her girlfriend and i helped her get over it emotionally. i was really looking forward to moving in with her and her kitten,
but i don't really have any intention on seeing her for a long time even if i move to the area by myself. between the times i actually helped her, the time i couldn't drive for 2 weeks after losing my car keys because she was just too busy to take me to the dealership for replacements, the going behind my back to tell our third roommate last year about how i spread her dog's fecal matter on her comforter and doorknob incognito after she wouldn't train the dog to not take a fucking dump twice (!) every day on the carpet (let alone that it was able to get into my room once, chew up my glasses and take a giant piss on my bed) after repeatedly telling her that it was disgusting and i did not want to live in such a shithouse, and for now being undependable after three months of getting my hopes up for the move.

i don't think anyone should have to deal with all of this drama from one person, so i'm just cutting her out of my life, fondly remembering her during the good times we had and wiping my hands clean. it's a pity, since she was my best friend my last two years of college and a significant part of why i moving to that area anyway.

so if her exgirlfriend had not stayed there yesterday because of the ice, i would have moved down then would have had to move back today or tomorrow per request of the landlord. you know, if she was being truthful. so thanks for the warning, mama n.

but hey, at least it's something to blog about!

Monday, January 31, 2011

hey all, moving tomorrow

how are you doing? i hope it is good news.

since i will be moving tomorrow (aka packing frantically for 5 hours to drive for 2), i won't have time for any blogging. frowny face! but to raise spirits, i wanted to post 5 more of my favorite tunes and 5 pics that i hope you like. have an enjoy!


gray is awesome. this is not my favorite song of his, and for some reason he does touhou arranges, but his other works were not readily available on youtube. scratch that, here's another if you liked it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cl9lDMjYxyg&feature=related


what's up with the anime photos on these... anyway, this is shu okuyama. he does some amazing french house as well. i listen to this when i read scary stories on a website. i'll have to post another song that i really like of his later.


it's songs like this that make me hate youtube (not to mention the upload is low quality). the bass is ear shattering at normal levels if you play it in the car. mellow goth jazz. it's one of those songs that makes your eyes unfocus and your heart beat slower.


ambient dubstep. pacheko has other good songs, they just don't have any wobble in them. and i know how much all of you tards like wobble. and it has a video of a guy motocrossing in the desert! how neat. here's my favorite, since i know you all will like him: http://youtu.be/lvvzBgfThXE


i didn't like this song the first time i heard it. i thought the first two minutes were too choppy, then there was a second part that was really good, and then third part i was like "oh, wow." my mind was blown. this puts the intelligence in idm. it's like a math problem that solves itself after you're done listening.

now for photos!
i just love kittehs.


i found this gem on some site i can't remember the name of...

this one is old, but it makes me laugh every time.

hank hill is the character of the century. the everyman. everystraightman.

til wednesday-ish!

Sunday, January 30, 2011

mind blockage

i have been 3 weeks sober. as a result, my mind has become increasingly cloudy and i am finding it extremely difficult to express my feelings and thoughts. in a couple days i will be moving to a place where i will not have to be clean, and all of the guilt will go away and maybe some of the anxiety. the issue i am dealing with now is should i stay sober in this new shameless environment and see how long it takes for my head to just wake up again, or break my streak and not have to even worry about it. i am really not sure if this blockade that has come back is something i want to break only in order to entertain myself again or not. i used to be able to look at something and associate many things in regards to its qualities, then continually build a thought train around whatever those qualities might be. now i look at something and visualize next to nothing outside of its face value unless i really concentrated. the thing is that i never had to actually concentrate; the train of thought would just realize itself and stick into my mind like a post-it. i already know that this sobriety isn't going to last much longer than a few hours once i am moved in, but it is going to have to be something i deal with again soon as i will have to find a place of employment at some point. then again i could just stay here in my chair and compose something that has actual meaning to me without having to deal with the slap in the face we humans call adulthood. i definitely wouldn't be able to do that as easily while sober. who knows if i'm even creative enough to do something others will find interesting enough to be good (though i believe 'interesting' and 'good' are foils when it comes to creative outlets, at least when viewed by the public). but i have always thought that trying is frugal, it is just my pessimistic outlook. my thinking is i do need to get rid of this wall in order to not feel boring or be uninteresting. here are some funny pictures i like!

i imagine he is making a sound like yoshi's straining floppy kick sound in yoshi's story. heeeeeh




til next time, space cowboyssss

Saturday, January 29, 2011

al jazeera live feed

erm, guess the video link is dead. it's removed now.

in case you're living under a rock, the rioting in egypt is still going on. i fear for the safety of the citizens not wanting to participate who are caught in the middle (though most of society is on board with rising against the corruption of their current leader mubarak). it's an unfortunate time over there and we should all be grateful that we're allowed to be fat slobs over here in the united states. or, you know, wherever you're following me from. the news is starting now 11pm est.

Friday, January 28, 2011

songs of the day

here are some songs i was listening to while cleaning:






skip to 1:29 for the best part.  the lead is hella annoying upon first hearing it.






i have so much more to share.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

i've been sick & rupaul's drag race ep.1 quickthoughts

hello followers or future followers, i have been under the weather for a few days, not to mention that i still have to pack my life away to move out of town by saturday.  so... to ease my mind, here's what i thought about the new season of rupaul's drag race, mondays at 10 on logo or tuesdays at 9 on vh1.

it's back (finally?), and after an hour and a half of watching i still don't know half of these lady-boys.  i knew going in that there were 2 fatties and 1 ultra fatty competing, as well as someone from dayton, ohio (near me!) and raja/sutan, who was a makeup artist for america's next top model in some of the middle cycles.  there's an asian taller than 5 foot named manilla, a couple of dudes who look the same, two puerto ricans, a black one, and a contestant that was on last season and was eliminated first.  also someone who is always naked (which is a feat for someone who has to duct tape his junk to his abc.  is that all 13?  sure, why not.


so...none of these girls are as beautiful as some of the girls from the past seasons.  by beautiful i mean they resemble a hot girl to a t (and a).  the only ones i like so far are the asian (manilla) and raja, the crazy crossover from top model.  raja won both competitions in the show (a photoshoot and runway/costume challenge), and rightfully so considering he has worked with tyra banks most of his life.  i doubt any of that will come up in the show, but what might come up is that the character raja is more of a transvestite rather than a drag queen, and that will probably hurt the chances of him winning.  he's definitely the most entertaining, though.  i'll end by saying that i loved it when rupaul said 'erica baduuuu' in response to one of the girl's costumes, and that i thought stacy lane, the ultra fatty in the worst outfit of the night, should have gone home.  doubt anyone will be able to relate to watching this show anyway, so!  i'll just leave it open for discussion.

Monday, January 24, 2011

mortal kombat: rebirth greenlit for digital series

so, remember that awesome live-action trailer people thought was for a movie or just for fun?  here tis:


weell, it's about to become a full-fledged digital series backed by warner brothers.  shooting begins next month.  i'm excited to see if the series lives up to the hype surrounding the trailer (it's leaps and bounds better than any mortal kombat movie released in the past), but that might be a bit tricky.  shooting begins next month, so don't expect it to be out anytime soon.  get hyped even more, guyz.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

how fun is snowmobiling? who snowmobiles?

it's really really fun.  too bad i've never had the opportunity to actually get on one and do what they do.

right now i'm living on a very large lake in ohio, it's completely frozen.  seems like every night now the snowmobiles are out there making a whole lot of noise even if they're just passing through my part of the lake.  the thing is though, they come from way over there to the left where a snow-covered golf course is, swoop down onto the ice like it ain't no thang, and start acting like bozos on the ice.  after they're done clowning (haha getit) they head off to the right side of the lake and just slide on up to the hick bar on the far right side of where i can see sitting outside.  they are probably already drunk when they go out anyway, so why are they going to a bar?  to score some chicks?  i doubt any women in that bar would ever be described as 'chicks.' more like 'hens' or 'harpies.'  bitches cackle all of the time over there, freaks me out.

the people on the snowmobiles probably travel a few miles to get to their destination previously dubbed the harpy bar.  my question is what demographics ride these things from all the way over there to on the ice then to the bar?  i went to that bar a few times and everyone seemed to be in their late 30s, so i'm guessing that the people who ride their snowmobiles over there are over 35?  why would they constantly act so immaturely on the ice, making so much noise at 1:30 in the morning (sometimes 4am too).  maybe they're just there getting a drink before heading off to make noise around the rest of the lake.  if they're younger guys around my age, they must have pretty rich parents or have already made a decent living for themselves.  i do sometimes see a girl on one of the crafts, but can never tell if she's over 30 or not.  guess i will just have to work harder and not appear as such a scrub out on my roof smoking.  then maybe i could be as free as those guys and 30+/- girl.

---written from the perspective of the guy i saw sitting out on his roof last night, smoking a cigarette in the snow.  he's up there most of the time when we're out, but the low clouds last night made it easier to tell whose face it was.  i always feel him watching us go over there, which isn't that surprising since my apex is pretty loud and my friend dave has a really old ski-doo.  i'm pretty sure he's been to bob's because i saw him or someone very similar there last month sometime.  the guy i remember didn't stay for more than 15 minutes maybe because it was a friday, and that usually means there are a lot of scuzzy gents there getting a beer.

he probably doesn't have a sled based on his living conditions, but i don't know.  just thought it would be fun to make up a story from someone i recognized.  i have to make sure dave's girlfriend doesn't read this.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

ron swanson's pyramid of greatness

having finally watched all of the thursday night nbc block (3 hours?  who is going to sit for 3 hours and watch nbc?)  i have to say that i'm so so glad that parks and recreation is back.  also that i didn't watch perfect couples because fuck that.  so here is my post of notable scenes and the breakdown of which shows were better than the others.

starting with community.  my god, joel mchale's forehead could not get any bigger.  i really could not hear what he was saying when the camera was zoomed in on him because i was so focused on that seemingly infinite receding hairline.  if he ever goes bald i hope he looks like a conehead.
not much ahbed this week, and he's the best character on that show.  the pretend today show at the end with rich making his kettle corn to an audience of...nobody.
this episode's golden moment:  theo as shirley's husband in a cosby sweater.  i could not get over it, and by the time they cracked a joke about it i was all 'oh, i know.'

next was perfect couples so i just jerked off 8 times onto my dad while he was sleeping.  seemed like a better use of time. he was not disappoint.

next is the office! wow, the office!  well...there isn't much to say anymore about this show...  the ending bit with creed attempting to fulfill his resolution by doing a cartwheel wasn't enough to save this mediocre episode.  the whole holly/micheal thing is really uninteresting since we already know that steve carell is leaving the show.  did anyone do anything in this episode?  they went to a roller rink to find ladies and ended up paling around.  yay?
the episode's, ahem, "golden" moment(s):  darryl and his one liners.  his smooth way with the bookstore clerk ("i heard those ereaders only hold, like, 10 books" "actually, it's around 10,000" "holy shit, what?") and "the day shift at a stripper joint...you can't un-see that."  these people are getting paid how much per episode?

next is parks and rec, oh how i've missed you.  this series is heavily story and character driven now, so if you haven't seen the earlier seasons, you should before watching this to know the relationships of the characters.  i will say that this episode wasn't hilarious by any means, but it was an awesome way to set up new storylines.  what's to come will be andy trying to get april to split with her new venzuelan (which is, according to him, a city in mexico) boyfriend and the parks department is going all or nothing on final government funding for a harvest festival that shaped the town itself (which is to attract people from all over indiana to witness how fat the citizens of pawnee are).  i like the rob lowe/rashida pair, adam scott and amy poelher are obviously going to get together, and ron and tom will be duking out for tom's ex-wife.  the writers have so much to work with that i don't see how this could be a boring season.
golden moments:  1.  within 5 minutes of starting they picked on jerry twice by throwing his almost finished landscape painting into a lake and throwing away his coffee.  2. leslie showing up to ann's date while they were still on the phone together 3.  ron swanson's pyramid of greatness (see above) and him throwing a $2 plastic chair across a basketball court in a fit of rage.  everyone was scared, it was hilarious.

30 rock is always above average in terms of jokes and stories, and a good percentage of the time it gets into the exceptional range.  the past episode was rather average, dealing with past issues by having tina and alec accidentally get married by a french priest then realizing that they pretty much are a married couple in order to get the arrangement annulled. pretty good, but pretty expected.  i still laugh at the hr guy's name weinerslav (that's wiener slave).  jenna and the new guy sharing a dressing room and having kenneth as a 'son' was pretty lame, but the racist humor derived from tracy's wife demanding she make as much as her husband was awesome.  i would watch a show with her and her catch phrases, as well as her gay best friend and his even gayer boyfriend and her meth-addict nephew.  "it's my way 'til payday!"
golden moment:  liz and her grey gardens spoof, talk about left field.  i would have never expected liz lemon to go on tv just to prove a point by making her marriage to jack public.  it was zany and i rewatched it several times.  i want theatrical jugglers to teach me the meaning of art, so they got me.


outsourced - *burp*.  i enjoyed the girl singing because that was actually good, but there wasn't anything funny about this episode.  did they really just poot on indian custom again of reverse-tipping and call it both a bribe and unamerican?  this show puts in some anti--they're-taking-our-jerbs propaganda every now and again.  the main guys boobs are getting bigger every episode and it makes me chuckle.  i think this show only has 6 more episodes then it's done for the year, but unfortunately i think it's exactly what people want to watch on thursday night...something dumb that they don't have to ponder over in the least.

so here's my list from best to worst:
1. parks and recreation
2. community
3. 30 rock (almost tied for second, but the jenna/kenneth sidestory was really horrid)
4. the office
5. perfect couples
67. outsourced

Thursday, January 20, 2011

lady gaga's new 'madre monstere'? (edit: scheiße)



let's be clear, i could not give 2 fucks about lady gaga.  i just want to take an early opportunity to say that this style, even melody, of song is nothing new, and i will fret so much when comes out on her next album and everyone is all "oh em gee, once again queen gaga is pushing the boundaries of music, lol send text." if she was really trying to come off as a genuine artist, she would collaborate with the people who do heavy industrial house music and work to make it more accessible to her fans/dumb americans without taking out any integrity to either parties' work.  instead she borrows, makes it droll and uninteresting to anyone with a good ear, and will most likely push it off as something so different and unusual (as demonstrated by this video).

if you've ever been to a fashion show or just watched one on youtube, you would know that this sort of song is really really average.  not to mention that the skeleton tattooed guy is a ploy to overcompensate for the designer's work (which is why i haven't mentioned anything about the designer or why the video was made).  I have nothing against the skeleman, he looks pretty cool and works those pearls really well in the video.

of course, the song is supposed to be different when it comes out and it probably won't be all straight-from-the-runway, but i am dreading the fluff to come about this and probably a few of her other upcoming songs.  also, don't get me wrong.  i would love to hear this on the radio if i ever have to listen to the radio.  it's just nothing to gawk at.

footnote:  i looked over to see that the princess diaries is on and noticed that even though there are loud speakers yelling at people in multiple languages to stay off of the grass, the grass itself has some huge patches of brown and isn't even that great.  perhaps that is the joke, no?

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

hating on ignorant people

i'm not talking about those who have base judgement on facts (which is, you know, commonplace this era in the united states, hurr).  i'm talking about those people who are so readily take anything they are shown verbatim without any curiosity or skepticism of learning more about what it is they are witnessing. my growing pessimism for the bullshit things like the entertainment industry and consumerism in general is reaching a plane of such cynicism that the thing i hope for most is a massive cosmic storm to hit the earth and disrupt all electronic communications.  yep, that would spell major catastrophe for the economy of the earth, even if a storm that affected a majority of the world for only a few days.  i know that because i heard about such an event being possible and spent a few minutes looking up what it could actually do.  in fact, there's a projected combination storm from space projected sometime in the near future, even though it isn't supposed to cause mass ruin that might make everyone re-evaluate everything necessary to basic human needs.  it would be terrifying, but at the same time enlightening and interesting knowing that the massive gaps in social status would disappear and we would all be on a pretty similar level.  all of that money you have in the bank?  how are you going to access it if every auto-teller machine in the world is on the fritz? best start working out to ensure you can at least trade sexual favors for an increasingly rare box of oatmeal creme pies.

i got a little off topic.  i wanted to write an article spelling out all of the bullshit in the united states (and most likely elsewhere, too) that is apparently going over the heads of the masses.  here are some notes i wrote to write about later (meaning now), which i will write out better complaints later (meaning later).

maxclarity/proactive - really expensive alternatives to other mild to moderate acne medications, but somehow having a system of three or more steps involving putting the same topical cream on your ugly face all three times is more appealing to people because katy perry.

inception - inspired by paprika (2006), but is being received as such an original screenplay/movie.  of course they're different scripts because japan is fucking weird and nobody would watch that shit, but they have very similar plots. it's just showcased a different way.

barrage of unoriginal media, remakes, sequels, ripoffs, question why there are so many -  i was reading entertainment magazine's 2011 preview of movies coming out and at least 80-85% of the 'new' stuff is remakes, sequels/prequels/spinoffs, book2movie (which i find least objectionable), or book2foreign movie2us remake (like, really?). i also found out that breaking dawn is also being split into two movies ala harry potter and the deathly hallows.  is there a legitimate reason for that or is it that since it's the last movie to be made from the series they want twice as much money from it?  greedy greedy greedy.  lack of new and clever storytelling is my main concern for movies coming out in 2011.  who knows?  i might just eat my own text later on.

will finish these ones when it's not 4am:
how television shows are made about anything (do we really need two shows concerning pawn dealings, let alone one show about pawn dealing?)


infomercials getting more ridiculous in order to sell as almost a joke gift: pajamajeans.  stylesnaps. the snuggie/slanket gets a pass as those are actually useful and warm, though could be manufactured better.


laugh tracks, oh how i hate the invention of the laugh track


the soup/tosh.0 - definitely understand the soup more as a commentary on television (often how pitiful it is), but a guy reading youtube comments after showing internet videos?  same deal with laugh tracks, you people think it's more accepting if someone is laughing along with you as you watch a show about things you can watch by yourself.  someone please get me out of here.

other bullshit in general


a final word:  tina fey is coming out with a collection of essays regarding her rise to where she's at now, and i couldn't be more excited to pick up a copy in april

Friday, January 14, 2011

welcome to my alsdlkgjniveu!

i know, right?  how is this supposed to make me cool and hip when people stopped blogging maybe around the mid-facebook/early twitter eras?  guess all i can say is that i dun care.  twitter was a silly thing to become popular anyway.

the purpose of this is to share my thoughts/concerns/feelings about anything i happen to come across that makes me think/concerned/feel.  i'm very opinionated and try some light satire when doing reviews for things such as tv shows and movies, though this gives me the opportunity to really judge pretty much whatever i want.  pretty sweet, man.  why didn't i have a blog before?

in addition to the jaded spin i plan on putting into whatever i write, i also plan on posting some music that i make.  you know, just for fun.  i really really enjoy anonymous criticism, too so if anyone is even going to start following me for more than the obvious reason (top chef reviews and quotes, duh doi) i'd really appreciate any feedback.

last note:  as you can tell, i don't like to capitalize letters, but am very strict when it comes to grammar.  i'd say i'm fairly eloquent, probably in the 70th percentile of the internet if you don't count the lack of capitalization.  therefore i'm also interested in anyone reading my posts giving me grammar corrections and whatnot.  i'm certainly not a prude, but do enjoy conveying a clear meaning when posting as i feel i have some important criticisms ahead. i'm not above the occasional acronym either.

good luck to everyone and i hope you enjoy reading what i have to write in the future!